girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
