You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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