there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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