you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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