she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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