Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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