I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
as a side note pls kill me
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
