either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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