Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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