I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize