i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
