I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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