ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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