Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
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I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
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My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
This is my gift to your gina
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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