We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
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Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
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This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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