I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
