why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
