drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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