Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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