My room smells like vodka and shame
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Randomize
