He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
