Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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