I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
