wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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