She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
