It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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