he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
