I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
please come you make the beer taste better
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
cat food counts as protein by the way
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
