Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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