i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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