member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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