she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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