I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Every concussion has its silver lining
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
