My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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