True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
