If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
And then the night went full on bisexual.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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