You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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