i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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