remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Randomize
