Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
