I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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