I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Small penises have feelings too.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
