I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
