But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
