I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
