not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
