Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
