You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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