I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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