I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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