when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
