Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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