How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
