i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
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I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
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For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard