it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I am puke
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
God gave him joint rollers for hands
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
