Im at strip club and am horny
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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