i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize