Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
