i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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