i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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