Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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