we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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