I think I am morally bankrupt
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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