Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
